Moving house, getting lost in the whirlwind of it all!

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Hi all. ❤

It’s been just under 2 weeks since I blogged last and I felt that today I had to pop by, to say hello, because I’ve missed being able to connect with all of my wonderful followers!

I always say that when circumstances arise in our lives we have to be ready to roll with, which is what happened with me and why I’ve been a little blog-AWOL. 🙂

After years of endless to-ing and fro-ing with my landlord in an attempt to have repairs actioned on the flat I rent, I finally came to the end of my willingness with it all, my heart left here years ago and I bit the bullet deciding instead to move. It suddenly dawned on me that it’s connected to the final bits of my old life which I have worked hard during my transformation to leave behind and so this last shred had to go to. The last reminder of the lack-mentality, the willingness to settle for less, to allow disrespect from others and accept it as normal because there’s no other option, the old victim mentality I’d been rooted in, was finally being uprooted fully!

And so roll on 2 weeks later and because it was divine timing (the right next step for me) it all unfolded with ease, following my intuition and guidance and being willing to feel uncomfortable for a little while whilst the plan of action came together.

I have to admit that although it has flowed beautifully and calmly, once the decision was made and a new place secured, it has not been without its tests and trials in trying to manage the clearing out of the old place, getting rid of my “stuff”, packing for the new address, all of the mental and emotional ties that it inevitably brings, and also managing to do this within the ongoing onslaught of daily M.E./CFS symptoms too.

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I’ve been methodical and had to sprinkle love and kindness everywhere every day in all of the decisions I was making, the demands on me physically and factoring in rest-days too in order to prevent a total CFS wipe-out…That would not be good to initiate one of those, just because I didn’t listen and pushed too hard.

In the grand scheme of moving frenzy I’m afraid that my head just went blahhh for a little bit with remembering it all and I had nothing left to write before now. Ha ha 🙂

And so here I am, in the final days before I hand the keys back, feeling calm in my heart and ready to close down this 12-year chapter of my life and it feels GOOD!!!

It’s all one step closer to leaving the UK and travelling, once my health recovers.

No matter how bizarrely it came about, it’s all steps leading towards my dreams.

WOOHOO 🙂

 

❤ ❤ ❤ BIG love to all today ❤ ❤ ❤

 

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Turning the other cheek or choosing to free yourself?

When was the last time you found yourself in a situation where others are disrespecting you, despite being clear in how you want to be treated and are treating them?

Many of us in our lives have known what it’s like to feel invisible and be openly disrespected. We’ve often found ourselves in receipt of poor service, or on the receiving end of somebody else’s bad mood and tongue-lashing.

Why is it that some people feel it is their right to be treated in a certain way and impose expectations from others, yet when it comes to their behaviour, they appear to forget that the same applies to them too and how they treat people?

Because most people have a bloated sense of entitlement, when they’re treated with disrespect or disservice, they tend to react negatively. As such they become extremely defensive (like the cat in the jungle defending itself) and it can become a battle of wills if unchecked. Many then choose to continue to spread this behaviour on to the next person they encounter and so on.

In those moments when you’ve felt voiceless even though you were speaking clearly and asserting yourself, how easy do you find it not to lose it, to instead choose to address the other person as you yourself would want to be treated?

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To keep showing respect and politeness to somebody who is clearly not doing the same to you is not easy, I know, yet it can have such a powerful effect. It may not change the other person or how they continue to treat you, we all have agendas after all, yet it does have the power to free you up to be the example. Who knows maybe that little lesson which you have shown them will filter down, one day they may just remember it and change as a result.

I found myself here in the last few weeks, in a situation which has now culminated in me taking my power back, calmly holding my composure and still choosing to be gracious to the parties in question, despite them clearly showing their agenda to the contrary.

My landlord has taken years to action bathroom repairs, despite their legal obligation to do so sooner; now they have, I’ve bent over backwards these last 3 weeks to facilitate it all even moving myself out with no rent reduction, just because I was so happy to finally see the repairs happening. Many around me said that I was being soft, could have demanded more in a certain way as ‘my right’, yet I am choosing my battles wisely these days. I realised that we’re all operating from our own agendas and for me, I just wanted to have a flat in which I have reliable working and non-leaking bathroom facilities.

However, at the end of the job time-frame, I not only discovered that the work was not complete, I also found that my home had been treated with the utmost disrespect with every room being invaded with building materials and rubbish. It was left in a filthy mess, with damage to my personal possessions too.

Don’t get me wrong I wanted to bite, BIG TIME. I wanted to rahhhhh it all out at them, tell them what they were doing wrong, get on my self-righteous high horse and demand respect, yet there-in lies the lesson because that’s not who I really am anymore! It was just an old programme of “I’ll take you down  before …”. Thankfully I took time to breathe it through, walked around the block A LOT until I calmed and could then speak from my true self, with my head and my heart in unison, in a way in which I felt not only honoured and respected me, but my landlord and agent too.

The outcome of their agenda has been revealed now: they want me out to fully renovate my flat then raise the rent, me being there for 11+ years was getting in their way. In response to me raising several issues including photographs of the unfinished works and the state of my home, all that I received was a reply in which I was made out to be the villain…I was in the wrong, they’re doing me a favour after all and I needed to perhaps move on then. They were not that polite though!!!

At first I was reluctant, then my heart said “yes it’s time, a new chapter awaits”. So with that realisation, I asked myself how I could be free and then took action. Divine timing is everything and within a few hours after I was clear that I was leaving, I had sourced a new place to live and felt at such peace, despite their treatment of me.

Many still say that I should fight, argue my point, demand rent reductions etc, yet when did demanding respect ever result in a person receiving it?

It doesn’t. I chose me, I chose self-respect and I trust in myself to turn the other cheek. This isn’t by means of accepting their behaviour, it frees me to choose new beginnings and put the past which this home represented, well and truly behind me now. With each test I grew stronger for many years; our paths will only change when we’re committed to walking as who we truly are, loving and being authentic as we walk it. When the time comes to level-up and move on, it’s not always wrapped in a bow, yet the lesson is still the same.

What about you, in those situations when you are clearly being disrespected, are you willing to breathe, dig deep and still act with humility and respect to the others involved?

Turning the other cheek, or being the example and freeing yourself too?

It’s up to you how you see it after all.

The power is ALWAYS yours, despite how the test shows up or the package it comes wrapped in. 🙂

 

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choose wisely

It’s always in your hands, the power to speak your future into your reality. 🙂

Annette Rochelle Aben

Did you know, that you

Predict the future with words

Speak beautifully

Proclaim positive

Our words turn the world around

And uplift all life

For we will get back

That which we send out today

Returns tomorrow

©2017 Annette Rochelle Aben

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In The Land of the Free Anyone Can Choose to Take Knee

I support the pledge to take a knee! Yes I live in the UK and I’m not being directly affected by any of it, yet that iscompletely irrelevant as my support, if only in sharing this alone, is with my brothers and sisters being affected.

We all owe it to each other to stand together. Discrimination and atrocities performed by one group towards another can never ever be justifiable.

In my heart I’m there too, taking a knee, linking arms with them. ❤

Alexis Chateau

In 2016, Colin Kaepernick made a life-changing decision that would simultaneously ruin his American-football career and shift his focus to altruism.

Kaepernick chose to sit while the national anthem was being played before a football game. When asked about his decision to sit during the anthem,Kaepernick replied:

I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color… To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.

Surprising Support

His actions, coupled with his rationale, stirred the racial pot in America. It spurred a wide-reaching debate about how he protested, why he protested, and whether or not how he chose to do it was respectful.

In spite of the controversy, the…

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Tuesday’s self-love nugget.

 

Today’s inspiring self-love jar selection, courtesy of Henry the ever-inquisitive cat:

I am grounded and in no rush.

 

In a world which seems to thrive on being busy and speed, how often do you feel grounded in yourself, in the choices you make and the actions you take?

How confident are you that every decision you take is one which is the best one for you, rather than just the one you grabbed at in the moment?

It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, what you do or why you do it, every single day we are surrounded by needs, desires, choices and actions which we must take to move our lives in one direction or another.

Whether it’s the nine-to-five demands of making work decisions, being pulled in a gazillion directions by our loveable little darlings and family members, or even choices as simple as the foods we eat and the way we treat ourselves, all of this is affected by whether we are grounded or not.

Do you even know what grounded means?

And no it’s not just a yoga cliché. 😉

It’s actually something we can all do and benefit from daily.

Grounding in its simplest form can be understood as a process of bringing awareness to our body, of taking that awareness down into the deep roots within us, which anchor us to the earth and all its abundance. Just as a tree is anchored and connected with deep roots to stabilise it, to nourish it with life, so are we!

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When we are grounded, we feel held, loved and confident in trusting ourselves to make decisions. We feel trusting that all of our basic needs are being met and willing to lead our lives in the direction we want it to go. Being grounded, we feel strong, sure-footed and stable, just like a mighty tree in the forest.

When we’re ungrounded, we can feel dizzy, feel flighty, are stuck up in our head, unable to make even the simplest of decisions, worrisome and feeling as though we’re struggling to keep up with the demands on us. We can be toppled over at a moment’s notice by anything and everything, feeling like a leaf stuck in a gale-force wind.

It’s surprisingly easy in a world which moves at lightening speed wanting answers “now, now, now”, to find ourselves living too much up in our heads, worrying constantly. The endless monkey-brain way of living is the only way some people know how to live or be in life. Living in this way, it can feel that life comes at us rather than flows with us, guiding us as we go.

Taking a minute to consciously breathe, to ground can be so effective and instantly calming too. It has the power to help us focus when we’re distracted and to energise us when we’re feeling tired or sluggish.

Being grounded can help us to learn to respond in situations, rather than being an uncontrollable reactive force being swept along with it all.

It has the power to remind us to feel the strength and security in our legs and hips, the touch of our feet on solid ground reminding us that we’re a part of the Earth, and we’re being fully supported in all that we are.

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When we have ideas which we want to manifest into action and we’re all up in our heads about it, how hard is to see it as anything other than just an idea?

Yet when we’re grounded into the Earth, we can learn to transform these inspiration moments into higher energies of creativity, courage, strength and connected action. We become a highly creative and empowered person, with a great deal of potential to achieve and live the dreams we have, rather than just thinking or talking about them.

That’s because the energy which created the ideas must be moved down through us, to connect with our roots and be grounded in the Divine knowing of who we are. Our root foundation then shapes how we show up in our day, in order to have any chance of becoming that which we want to see happen.

So any time you may feel “off“, stop and breathe deeply, bringing your awareness down through your body to your roots. Connect with the remembrance of your strong roots, then repeat to yourself until you feel it in you as truth:

“I am grounded and in no rush. I am grounded and in no rush. I am grounded and in no rush. I am grounded and in no rush. I am grounded and in no rush. I am grounded and in no rush. I am grounded and in no rush.”

Never underestimate the power of self-love, it can ground and shape your foundation every day!

 

🙂 ❤ Go out and be fabulous today, I believe in you. ❤ 🙂

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Monday’s nugget of self-love.

I started out writing this blog several times on Sunday and it never felt right. The words weren’t flowing, I was feeling pretty ill, I have been all week and it was feeling like more of a chore to keep my agreement to blog for Monday, rather than a passion. I was trying too hard, I realised I was attempting to force it and so I sat on it for the day.

Eventually the power of trusting the inspiration to come, of going WITH the flow, was fruitful and it wrote itself within a matter of minutes. 

Yes, I’m also practising what I write about. 😉

Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead! Go out have fun, fill it with love, hugs-aplenty and joy, lots and lots of joy in every way, because you all deserve it and so much more. ❤


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Today’s inspiring self-love jar selection, courtesy of Henry the ever-inquisitive cat:

Self-love comes easily to me!

 

I’ve made no secret about the fact of what got me to walk in love, to dare to be my own best friend and to even consider wanting to fall madly and deeply head over heels in love with myself first and foremost, was in fact self-abuse.

Oh I was great at loving others, abundant to the max in that department! Yet when it came to me, ooh for sure there was a huge blockage there. I gave 100% yet only allowed in 10%.

A lifetime of learned destructive behaviours, angry hateful thoughts and actions, and shocking undermining limiting beliefs for MANY years was driving me until something in me pinged:

I had to learn to take my finger off the love-valve, to let myself receive it too.

I then invited myself into the land of “no more!!!”

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No more hatred, no more criticisms, no more belittling myself because quite frankly those inner scars were beginning to show and I didn’t want that to happen, people would see and know it all. 😦

No more “stinkin thinkin”, no more doing things which left me depleted, no more being the ‘it and the all’ for the entire World and getting nowhere myself!

No more eating, sleeping and acting in ways which only served to shut me out, to numb myself to the wonders of what I could be…And yes many the world over are guilty of this one too; the power of numbing to dull our potential, to ensure that we still “fit in”.

No more living in a box which never fitted me anyway; who was I actually kidding all of these years?

No more wanting to like or be liked just to save face or to avoid undue confrontations; I may have been willing to let my inner lioness ROAR her way out of a situation if absolutely necessary, yet I rarely let it out, in case I totally lost it and did something I couldn’t undo. (It became clear later that I was actually terrified of the power of my own anger, because it had been pushed down and stewing for so long.)

No more beating up on myself in ways which I would not allow others to treat me, so no more name-calling, criticising, putting myself down inside my head or to others. No more picking fault or showing disgust and hatred to and of my body, treating it with utter contempt: I was beautifully born as me for a reason and it was about time I started to celebrate that fact.

No more belittling myself or my talents to others, especially no more keeping quiet on my life because I was ashamed, felt I was “too-much” or was judging myself as a failure. NO MORE!!!

At this point you may be asking how I went from that to love?

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Baby steps, lots and lots and lots of baby steps.

From sifting through and observing the stinky thoughts and things which run in my head daily to watching the actions I took and consciously stopping myself if necessary, to ask if “what I am about to do or say serves me in love or hatred?” Throw in mantras, meditations, mirror work, gratitude journals for myself and my greatness, conscious kind and loving acts, even taking myself out on dates to learn how to treat me as I would wish a love to treat me, and so on and so on.

Plus I developed an endless supply of willingness, compassion and most definitely patience, as I learned a new way to live. 😉

Does it sound like a lot of work?

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Well that’s because it was in the beginning, yet it didn’t seem like it.

You see, what was powering me up and making me so determined to learn what self-love was, what it even meant or how to begin finding ‘MY’ way of applying it in my life, was a small flicker of remembrance deep down inside of my heart which said self-love comes easily to me.

Once I heard and felt it, even if only for a split-second the first time, I knew it was true and I just had to keep going. 

So can you!

The day that you truly feel and realise it, is a day you will never forget. Mine was Valentines Day, February 14th 2014 and it changed me forever more. ❤

Wherever you are with you own journey, self-love is the most precious gift in the world to give yourself.

Repeat with me, you heart will remember it and you will feel it too:

“Self-love comes easily to me. Self-love comes easily to me. Self-love comes easily to me. Self-love comes easily to me. Self-love comes easily to me. Self-love comes easily to me. Self-love comes easily to me. Self-love comes easily to me.”

With practice it will become your natural state of being, shining brightly like the sun.

Because you’re worth it! 🙂

 

 

 ❤ Go out and be fabulous today, I believe in you.

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The 4 Rules of Your Divine Timing

I know for many years I was guilty of “trying” to force the tide and timing of events.

Whilst I thought I was manifesting efficiently, I was in fact still very much learning and grappling with being impatient, misaligned, frustrated which often left me in wanting. I felt as though I was failing with not seeing the results I desired.

Thankfully I now understand and realise that it was in part because I was attached to receiving the things, which only served to vibrationally perpetuate the lack of them in my life and I was inadvertently pushing the things I desired further and further away as a result.

The article below looks at 4 key rules which can be understood and applied in all areas of our lives. Whilst Alexandra focusses on Divine timing in terms of relationships to illustrate her point, with a little rejigging it can be applied across all areas of our lives in general.

Enjoy 🙂

Re-blogged from Alexandra Harra on Huff Post.


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Each day, we are in a constant battle with time: I need to get to work on timeI wish he would commit to me right nowI want this problem to end immediately. But the almighty truth is that we can never manipulate time. We can only work with it by acknowledging the four universal rules of time. Recognizing the four truths of time grants us the wisdom of knowing exactly when to jump into action and when to stay still and wait. As I always say, “Timing is everything, and everything in time.” Trying to work against the Divine timing of your life is like trying to walk against a strong headwind. But when you understand and use universal timing to your advantage, the wind is blowing from behind you, ushering you forward in the right direction. Truly, time then becomes your eternal ally.

The following steps are loosely excerpted from my upcoming book that I co-authored with my mom, Dr. Carmen Harra, entitled The Karma Queens’ Guide to Relationships:

Our discomfort with facing the present can cause us to struggle with relationships. All relationships change over time, but we often fool ourselves into thinking a relationship has remained the same as it always was. Sometimes we do grasp that a relationship has changed, and we want it to go back to what it was. We hang in there hoping the relationship will improve, that the past will come around again. Meanwhile, we avoid acknowledging how unhappy we are in the present. This does a great disservice to everyone involved.

It would be nice if our relationship problems solved themselves instantly, but resolving karma within a relationship involves a process. It takes time, patience, and hard work, and it starts with being honest with ourselves about what is happening in the relationship right now.
Worrying about the past or future, or wishing that the good old days would come back or that the future will be better, takes your eyes off what is happening in the present—and you must be in the present in order to begin resolving and mastering your karma. If you want to become a karma queen, it’s important to align with the four rules of universal time:

Universal Time Rule #1: Everything Is in Flux
Everything is changing at all times, even the rocks and the mountains! We don’t think about how life is constantly transforming, but when we forget this is true, we can become attached to situations as they were or as they are. In Buddhism, it’s said that suffering comes from our attachments to how things are, or were, or might be. As long as we look at our circumstances as bad simply because they aren’t what we want them to be right now, we cause ourselves grief. We start thinking that anything less than ideal is bad, and we become obsessed with the idea that things are not as we want them to be. Yet when we understand that change is a part of life, we have an easier time accepting what our relationships and our lives are right now in this moment. If you want to master your karma and become a karma queen, you have to accept that time is in a flux. Anchor yourself in the present and deal with things as they are presently, because they could change for better or worse at any given moment.

The paradox is that we have to start with acceptance before trying to make our situations or relationships better. We can have greater influence over the way our relationships transform if we stop resisting how they are right now. The more we let them be, the more they change in our favor—both because that’s the way the universe works and because our mind-set helps us be more accepting of the situation. You can’t change the ebb and flow of the ocean—you can only admire it.

All relationships must transform. No relationship stays the same. No person is exactly who he or she was in the past. Everyone, at any stage of life, can change. Relationships require that we embrace people as they are now — not as they once were or as they might be at some point down the road. You must allow people to change and grow and not stifle their potential. Let yourself transform freely, too. Let others expand in their own ways and at their own pace. You can lovingly speak to them about their transformation, and encourage them or warn them about obstacles you see on the road ahead of them, but don’t try to hold them back from their personal growth. Allow them to learn in their own ways and their own time. Love them enough to let them evolve. Love yourself and others as you are right now, understanding that one day you may miss the person you know now after they’ve undergone certain shifts. There’s always room for improvement, yes, and there are always challenges to be met. But remember that change happens. Let your relationships ebb and flow and transform, gently guiding them in the direction you want them to go in, but taking a small step back when you see that they are resistant to your efforts. Leave it in the hands of the Divine.

Universal Time Rule #2: Timing Matters
When you communicate with others, be aware of their cycles and their moods. People are better able to handle difficult news or questions when they don’t feel rushed or put on the spot in front of others. Nobody likes to be stressed or pressured. At the same time, you can’t avoid confrontations and expect to maintain good relationships. Have the challenging conversations, but do it in the right timing. Otherwise, you may end up rebutting out of frustration or anger, which can seriously damage your relationship. So hold off on the tough talks until you feel you can adequately hold your tongue and respond in the right way.

If, in any given situation, you’re anxious and want an answer right away, stop and think. Can you deal with your anxiety on your own and wait until the person you care about is in a better state to talk about what’s important to you? Can you calm yourself down before talking further? It’s easier to pay attention to other people’s timing when you’re not in a panic yourself. The difference between pushing someone’s buttons when they’re in an already bad mood, and waiting to reason with them when they’re more receptive, is enormous. Things can turn ugly quickly when your insecurities or anxieties push someone who’s already irritable over the edge. This is why it’s crucial to inspect the timing of your conversation. Chances are, you may come across as irritating, even desperate, if you approach someone in the middle of an anxious or “needy” mood swing. You might end up saying hurtful things you don’t mean because your words are derived from your pain, not from love or logic.

If the timing for a difficult conversation isn’t good but you are agonizing over having to remain silent for a bit, release your elevated emotions by scribbling them furiously in your journal or screaming your words in your bathroom as you shower—just don’t approach your loved one for a tough conversation in the midst of a compromised mood! Love yourself and others enough to pay attention to the unique timing of everyone involved.

Universal Time Rule #3: Trying to Force Matters or Pressure People Doesn’t Work
If you’re impatient, you may end up issuing ultimatums to people. A woman might say to her romantic partner, “If you don’t make up your mind in three months about whether to commit to this relationship, I’m out of here!” But ultimatums are for you, not other people. And, honestly, ultimatums ultimately end relationships. You can’t force people to operate on your timetable. They have their own timing. You can set your boundaries and expectations, but you can’t make them change, much less make them change as quickly as you would like them to. Change has to come from their heart—they have to want to put in the necessary effort.

If you feel the need to set a boundary with someone and issue an ultimatum, set one up for yourself as well. Make it a two-way street. Say, “I know you need to take time to make your decision. Just know that if this doesn’t happen by such-and-such a time, I may move on,” and then follow through on the ultimatum you made for yourself. Don’t be angry, hurt, and resentful. Often, people want to change but they don’t know how to, or it’s too difficult for them because they haven’t done it before. Don’t assume they’re not changing because they don’t care about your feelings! Just accept that the other person’s timing isn’t yours. You might discover that the person changes his or her mind and comes back to you very soon. People who are committed to change will find their way back into your life.

Universal Time Rule #4: Impatience Calls for Exploration
Fear is usually what’s driving impatience, so when you’re impatient, the best thing to do is stop and explore your fear. This includes exploring whether there are any outside pressures pushing you to act. Do you have to get married to this person, or by a certain time? Are others rushing you to make peace with someone right now, when you need more time to be able to work through your feelings and forgive that person? By better understanding your fear, you’ll have an easier time letting go of it. Then you’ll be more patient and you can focus on the process of transformation.

Learning the truth about time will save you from unnecessary stress and strain. Understanding when the universe supports certain actions versus when it urges you to be patient can help you make the best decisions possible. Become aware of the four universal time rules and start working hand in hand with your Divine timing today.

To the incredible timing of your life,
Alexandra Harra

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